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illuminated darkness
Monday, March 24, 2014 • 0 guys
Spread the message
Ignite the light 
Evolution; starts from you and I 
Weak granted strength; strengthened for the better

Change one's fate
Heed from the wise
Inspired, and to inspire
New beginnings where darkness meets light
positive thoughts breed happiness.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013 • 0 guys
Kings and Queens
Are who we dream to be
Immersed in our little fantasies 
Hidden from reality 
Over and over again
Our imaginations run wild
Not fear, not grief, but happiness kept safely within
The Time Of My Life - Cecelia Ahern
Thursday, August 8, 2013 • 0 guys


 Lucy Silchester's met her Life, someone whose task is to set her back on the right track, to live her life the right way, to be happy once again. 

 It's pretty amazing how a book can simply set you reflecting on your own life, causing you to realise how miserable it actually is. 

 I hate my life. 

 I know it's a statement that people usually use just because things do not go their way, which I believe is an immature thing to do. But that's not the case for me. I said it because this is not what I expect my life to be like, I'm not happy. Well, at least not entirely happy.

 I hate how I'm such a lazy ass. I hate how I don't pack my stuff. Because right now, my room is a mess. And somehow, this reflects that I'm a mess. And I don't want to be one. But I'm not going to start tidying up too. I want to, but I'm just not going to.

 I hate how I dislike the idea of being lonely, but when I'm with someone else, I simply wish that I'm alone. 

 I hate how people will start talking to me when I'm not in the mood to do so, and then they will question why I'm so 'emo'. 

 I hate how people think that I'm wealthy, simply because of the type of house I'm living in. 

 I hate how people think that I'm intelligent, simply because I scored well for my tests.

 Because that's just bullshit. The house ain't even owned by my parents. I can't even afford half of the items I want. I saved and forked out my own money to buy those concert tickets and albums, my parents did not even pay a single a cent. I get fairly good results because I actually paid attention during certain lessons or I simply did some revision. Or maybe because I knew some of the test questions like majority did. Yes, that's cheating, but I can't help it, they're just there. 

 I hate the people around me. I hate my friends, well, I kind of do. I don't know why, but the feeling's just there. I'm not really happy around them. Well, I really am at times. But sometimes I'm not. Maybe it's because of their behaviour which irks me at times, or it's just me. I'm just not happy with them, and I'm not entirely happy with myself either. I hate it when I say really offensive stuff to people, though it's meant to be a joke, but most people don't really see it as one. I know that they don't really like it, and sometimes, I feel bad right after the words escaped from my mouth. But I'm not going to stop doing it, because I can't help it.

 Habit. It had formed into a habit. I know that I don't like things to be this way. But I can't change who I am either. Lucy's lies built up, one after another, she couldn't help it, it's a natural thing for her to do. Similarly, once I act that way, I can't stop either. And if I could, it's not that easy either. It goes the same for me when I procrastinate. I see it as a form of letting my frustrations out. But the more I procrastinate, the angrier I felt, and I just get more frustrated. It drives me crazy, but I can't stop it either.

 Lucy's Life asked her about her dreams. All she could think of was to win the lottery. 'If you have a dream, you want to at least be able to try to achieve it in some way. Something that is seemingly beyond your grasp but that you know that with a bit of hard work you could possibly achieve. Dreams should make you think, If I had the guts to do it and I didn't care what anybody thought, this is what I'd really do.' 

 I don't have a dream either. I have no idea what I would like to be in the future. I don't even know what courses I would like to take, what school I would like to attend. Dreams involving a perfect life, something similar to a typical cliche romance book, are simply wishful thinking. Because that ain't how life is supposed to be like, and it never will be. I have no dreams, no plans, nothing. And that's miserable and just stupid. As quoted from the book, 'not only are you not happy where you are, but you can't even think of where you'd rather be.' I don't even know how to make my life better. 

 Right now, I'm sick of my life. I've lost interest in education. I guess I'm pretty much wasting this thing of mine that you call 'life' away. I have loads of tests next week and I have no idea what's the chapters which are tested about. I have loads of uncompleted work, overdue ones too. I want to actually start doing some of them, I want to work hard. I really want to, but I just can't. 

I really want to do something right, for once. I want to fix this life of mine, to make things better. But I don't really want to change who I am. I don't know how to make things right. I certainly do not have someone who is my Life, someone who is able to tell me what is the right thing to do. And even if I do have one, will I choose to believe what they have to say? 

 Because people are not whom they seemed to be, they never were. This world is built with lies. And somehow, I think that my life is one too. 

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goodbye; not turning back and walk ahead.
Sunday, March 10, 2013 • 0 guys
Still can't believe that I'm leaving for Shanghai tomorrow, and that I would be gone for 6 weeks. After school on Friday, I'm already starting to miss those smart people(see, I'm nice to refer to you guys as smart people while you guys say that I'm dumb).
Ariel - I think I'll miss you the most, Oreo! My transfat! I can't tease you anymore, can't go 'ohoh' when I see your eye-candies, can't go 'ahem' when I see them during P.E. I can't gossip with you about the BFF club, can't go CCA with ya and joke bout chairman kai. I can't fangirl with you and spazz. It's the first year being in the same class as you, and I would be missing your birthday ): Jiayous for your CTs! Hope that you would enjoy Annual Camp, though your group name is probably not 'little mermaid'. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, you'll be spending your birthday with the presence of your eyecandy! :)

Xuan Ting - MY BLUR QUEEN. It was really fun to sit beside you for the past week but the arrangement is only temporary ): you are so smart that you'll pass your CTs with flying colours! I know you'll miss my Instagram's food photographs, I'll try to post photos if I can! You shall also think about whether dumb is more stupid than stupid or is stupid more stupid than dumb!! I hope you'll become less blur when I come back! Hahahah. Ariel shall bully you for me(not bully me for you!) >:)

Cockroach Ang - 打不死的蟑螂! You're as blur as Xuan, but not as blur!! Always eating in class but don't eat as much as Yao! I know you'll miss me, as I'm part of the 'stupid people'. I'll miss you too! And your phone games. And your food. And your weird logic. I still don't know why the word 'ridiculous' sound ridiculous though! As promised, I shall try to eat on your behalf, but if I return as a fatass, I'll make you exercise with me!! Good luck for your CTs and SYF, you must perform for me one day okay! :)

Jacq - We're not really close but I've already been out with you twice! Hahah. I'll miss laughing at lame jokes with you, especially when we're laughing at Yao! x) I failed you, the running man addict, as I have not been watching it since the hols >< I like your 'anything lah' attitude but you are still able to do well for your tests! Good luck for your CTs, I believe you can do well as you seem naturally smart! Hahah, I highly think that you're smarter than me! :)

Wanching - truthfully, we're not very close too! Hahah. It was fun sitting at the back of the class with you guys that day! One of the best times I had this year! And all our primary school jokes, and your lame jokes!! I'll remember how you don't like to be called 'annoying' but Yao referred to you as the 'annoying girl' HAHAHAH. All the best for your CTs and your CCA competition! I believe you can do well for the competition since your drills are so pro, or at least better than mine! :)

Yaoyao - my twin!! Hahahah. The past week with you sitting next to me was really entertaining. You made me laugh every second(夸张句), your laughter itself is contagious! Still can't believe you tricked all of us into believing that your sisters are called Yiyi and Yier! I'll be the number 1 supporter of LET'S party! I'll miss your lame jokes, us asking stupid questions cause we don't understand anything! Good luck for your CTs, you're smart! You've proved this point by achieving 19/20 for chem test! Looking forward to you topping our class in Physics! Must defeat Xuan and the scholars! :)

Yikyik - the second blur person in my life. The one who is always lost cause you don't know how to make use of transport. Hope you'll make your way to tuition every week, it's not that difficult! And do your mock tests!! Mygod, just do them!! Good luck for your CTs! And your SJAB competition, it's your first year competing, do your best!! And don't owe anymore work! Just complete them, time management ya know? Don't force me to lecture you!!

Siewchinnn - WE COMPLETED OUR PROJ. HAHAHAH. Super satisfied and proud of our product! Everything is left in your hands now. All you have to do is submit the work! x) what to do without you, my Chinese will be like ew(not egg white). I'll miss your camera! HAHAHAHAHAH! CAN'T BLAME ME OKAY. The time when I'm gone, you shall try to focus your camera everyday! Hahahaha! Your task from me! Good luck for your CTs and SYF as well! :)

For the six weeks I'm gone, I'll not be attending NP as well. It's kinda scary as I'll be a dumbass when I'm back. (I'm already a dumbass now)

Cutecute - paiseh, dint attend training on Friday >< wanted to go but bleh. Thanks for helping me with the 'surprise' thing, hahah x) I bet you came up with the theme of the Annual Camp, so your style! I'll try my best to find food for you since you always offer us food! :P if the food is nice, I'll probably buy more for you guys to share, so ask chairman kai to be kind and gracious when I come back! Don't be in a foul mood or immerse in his electronic games! x)

Awesome senior - seriously, you're more like a friend compared to a CL hahah x) haven't seen you during CCA these days, or is it just me being blind? You shall not be forgotten as I'll try my best to find souvenirs for you as well! Probably not food, since you're a vegetarian hahah. Ohoh, during annual amp, must tease Ariel about you-know-who hahah. Must do so for me, I always send her any pictures that I found of her eyecandies! :P
Little Pancakes.
Thursday, February 7, 2013 • 0 guys
Went to Little Pancakes with Samuel on Saturday. The place was really well-decorated, it was a really really lovely place. As the cafe name is 'Little Pancakes', every meal there comes with little cute pancakes and they are really really satisfying. I ordered Going Nutella For You, it comes with some honey and butter, nutella, biscuits and chocolate ice cream. Samuel ordered Gimme S'more Oreos! It comes with honey and butter, 3 s'mores and chocolate ice cream. We also shared an ice chocolate :) A set cost about $8+.

 Ice chocolate

Going Nutella For You


Gimme S'more Oreos!


Will try to blog soon with random pictures I collected over this month! No guarantee though! :) 
x

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All a girl could do is dream.
Friday, December 7, 2012 • 0 guys
Reading love novels gives me a warm and cozy feeling inside, always. How I would go gaga over the guys and their sweet gestures and swoon over the relationship between the two characters. Then, I'll start reflecting. Why am I fantasizing over fictional characters? Where do I stand with my life compared to those two in the story? Does something that perfect really exist in reality? The next thing you know, I would be flipping the table and going 'THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT' and then I'll be crawling back to the book 'cause it's so damn irresistible.

Now girls, let me tell you what will happen if your life is just like a love novel.
1) You may be the new girl and be bullied by the chicks since they basically rule the school. You can either sob and moan over your misery OR don't give a shit. To this point, you could either wait for your knight in shining armor to come to your rescue OR you just captured the attention of some jock with your attitude.

2) You may come from a flawless background. Rich family, lives in a mansion, possess really cool cars...

3) You would be dating a really charming hunk who have the total package - chocolate abs, that smile that cause you to die a little inside... I doubt I need to explain any further. Newsflash: You'll have a really HOT dude that you'll proudly call your boyfriend. At this stage, your entire world would practically revolves around him, so yeah.

4) You would be the most perf girl alive. Trust me. The perf bod, hair, eyes, cheekbones, whatever in the description of a girl by an author. The girls in school would look up to you like you're a freaking goddess, which is highly impossible in the context of reality in Singapore :)

5) You would have the sweetest relationship with your guy that everyone would die to have, like seriously. I think it'll get all cheesy. Oh well.

Now, you would probably have a clear image of how perfect your life would be. Thus I shall pull you out of that little fantasy of yours and list down the cons.
1) Your boyfriend would turn out to be a total jerk. He may have just cheated on you. And the worst way to find out the truth? See him in bed with a girl. To make things worse, that girl may be your best friend. At this stage, all I could say is congratulations, your life is soooo fucked up right now :)

2) You may just get that little fragile heart of yours broken multiple times. With a psychological mind, I may say that you my develop some trust issues. And that jerkface you once called your boyfriend? There's a few possibilities at this point. One, you will not forgive him. He don't really care. Life goes on.
Two, you will not forgive him. He still loves you. Life sucks for him.
Three, you forgive him. He breaks your heart again. 'I TOLD YOU SO's would be flashing everywhere.
Four, you forgive him. He loves you. You love him. You two live happily ever after.

3) To go a little in depth, away from all the cheesy love, you may come from a shitty background. God knows what happened in the past, parents died, raped... There's loads of possibilities that will affect that character of yours.

Now, we shall grab a cup of warm cocoa, lean back and reflect on your life. It sucks real bad, doesn't it? Look on the bright side, you have survived, or rather, lived for so long without a dude going all lovey-dover with you, I'm highly positive you are capable of doing so for the next couple of years to come. Shall we cheers to being #foreversingle and #foreveralone for now? ;)

And it's time for some lovely stuff found on Tumblr.












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Eighteen Chefs & Samuel's Prom
Monday, November 19, 2012 • 0 guys
Rachael and Cheryl came for a sleepover. Watched approximately an hour of AMAs, missed The Wanted's performance ): Lady Antebellum won, Justin won, Justin's performance was great, Pink's performance was beyond awesome! :)
Accompanied Cheryl to NDC with Rachael and then went to Tiong Bahru Plaza to meet their mum for money for our lunch, ate at Eighteen Chefs. Their prices were quite reasonable, senior citizens and students are entitled to a $2 discount, there's student meal for $6.90 but has limited choices of food. We had Seafood Marinara, Baked Rice and Dory fish.













Samuel went to Prom today. Took some pics of his #ootd




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